


MIXED EMOTIONS

by kingkinberlyn



Category: Original Work
Genre: Poetry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:34:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingkinberlyn/pseuds/kingkinberlyn
Summary: ❝here i am,knocking down your door,setting fire to your floorboards,and shattering your glass castle.❞
Kudos: 2





	1. I AM NOT WEAK

you called me weak.

helpless.

hopeless.

you told me no one would believe  
the likes of me against the likes of you.

yet here i am,  
knocking down your door,  
setting fire to your floorboards,  
and shattering your glass castle.

and there's not a goddamn thing  
you can do to stop me.  
you wanna know why?

because the likes of you  
stands no chance  
against the likes of me.

i am a force to be reckoned with.  
i will no longer hide it.  
i will no longer be ashamed of it.  
i will no longer apologize for it.

you called me weak,  
yet here i am,  
capable of your worldly destruction.

_and i'm just getting started._


	2. FIRE

you, sweetie,  
you have a fire inside.

a fire that rages with the wrath  
of thousands of women.

some people might try  
and poke at that fire.

or worse,  
try and put it out.

you burn them to the bone  
if they try.

women, together, we are  
an unstoppable and catastrophic force.

and we could burn this world  
straight to the ground if we wanted to.


	3. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?

"what does it feel like?" i asked.  
the cool grass sprang between my toes.  
you laid still.

the grass was freshly mowed and the smell would normally be inviting, but the air sat differently because of you — uncomfortable.

"i wish i understood," i said.  
i squeezed the cool earth in my hands.  
you laid still.

the dirt was cold and the worms within it lively. you always loved the outdoors and all of its creatures.

"i wish you could talk to me," i said.  
the sun shined much like your smile.  
you laid still.

the sun was bright and out in full, but the weather stayed chilly without your warmth in it.

"i always wondered what it felt like," i said.  
i could smell the honey suckle in the air.  
you laid still.

the flowers i had picked for you flew in the summers breeze and gently decorated the surrounding cemetery.

"i hope i get to join you soon," i said.  
i placed my hand upon your tombstone.  
you laid still.

the beauty of this summers day  
would have contrasted well with  
the horrible, selfish act you committed.

the green of the grass would have  
contrasted well with the crimson puddle  
we found you in.

the light of the sun, the dimness in your eyes.  
the beauty of the garden, the marks on your skin.  
all contrasting in the worst ways.

but please, tell me,  
what does it feel like?


	4. MY BODY

my body may not be special,  
or extraordinary,  
or free of embellishments and blemishes,  
but it is mine and mine alone.

the day will never come  
when i bend at the boundaries and rules  
that anyone has set for my body.

this body is my home.  
it has cracked sediment,  
decaying wood,  
and chipped paint.

it's not perfect,  
but this body sure is good at  
keeping me together  
when i only want to fall apart.


	5. TRAUMA

after trauma  
you're left all alone  
to pick up the pieces by yourself.

it's easy to get discouraged  
when you see that you don't  
have all the pieces anymore.

that person that hurt you,  
they _stole them._  
and you'll never get them back.

it's easy to get lost in the  
idealization of the person you were  
before you were hurt.

_**stop it.** _

stop it with the drugs, the razors,  
the all-nighters, and the binge-drinking;  
chasing a part of you that is no longer attainable.

you will never be that person again.  
for all intents and purposes,  
they no longer exist.

so you pick yourself up,  
you pick up your pieces,  
and you put yourself back together.

there will be holes,  
and that's okay.  
you don't have to have it all figured out.

you make do with who you are now  
and you show them that you're more  
than your past, your trauma,  
and what they did to you.

_you'll be okay.  
it'll take time,  
and for everyone it's different,  
but you'll be okay in due time._


	6. MYSTIQUE

She looked at them like they had stars for eyes.

Although they did share similarities,

in shine and entice;

they did not have stars,

but galaxies,

ready to swallow her whole

with their mystique.

And, oh,

just how she craved to get lost

in the celestial being that is

 _them_.


End file.
